The Dancefloor Is Gone…

but my body’s still movin’!  Ladies, I’ve survived another year, and there’s no way I’d rather celebrate than dancing!  Thanks to everyone who came out today and said hey.  You’re the hardest of the hardcore girls, and I never get sick of telling y’all how lucky I feel to get down witcha!  So, without further ado, the mix:

xo,

DJ K-oss

(*new year, new DJ name!  And doesn’t K-oss usually follow a dizzaster?)

See you all July 18th, when DJ ENRG will be bringin’ some sweet heat!  Until then, enjoy your freakin’ summer!

And don’t forget, WEDNESDAYS ARE STILL ON EVERY WEEK!

The Perfect Storm

While most of Chicago was tucked away in it’s basement bunker with head dangerously close to its own crotch, 4 of us were doing the kind rain dances that deflect tornadoes and replace them with sparkling rainbows in jaundiced, sallow skies. We could faintly hear the sirens blaring in the teeny crawl space of dead air between songs on the INCREDIBLE ZULK’s brilliant playlist. And even then, we weren’t a scareded, because we are all ready for the mutha-cluckin rapture. And rapture we did have.

It was kind of like this video:

with a touch of this:

but mostly like this:

but much better, really. And if I can take a bit of pride in this city, and the Midwest, and the people it creates, well tonight proved to me that if/when the apocolypse does occur, I want to be surrounded by the kind of fearless and joyful and move-bustin humans that showed up to class tonight, despite there being a tornado sirens a blazin and a downpour that truly deserves the descriptor: torrential. Seriously California, I love you. But no the hell way you would have shown up tonight. Or made a playlist like dis one:

Now to go wash my feet.

H.A.P.P.Y.

U·NI·TY [yoo-ni-tee]: –noun, plural -ties.

1. the state of being one; oneness.  2. a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one. 3. the state or fact of being united or combined into one, as of the parts of a whole; unification. 4. absence of diversity; unvaried or uniform character. 5. oneness of mind, feeling, etc., as among a number of persons; concord, harmony, or agreement.

6. a kick ass DJ.

This Sunday we welcomed the first mix from DJ U.N.I.T.Y., a non-stop booty shakin’ buffet, complete with a garnish of glow sticks!  The result was something like this:

Sigh.  The world would be such a shiny, happy place, if only we could resolve our differences with dance…

Thankfully, there were no differences to resolve this week!  Just a handful of ladies of one mind and feeling, and that feeling was AWESOMENESS (and sweatiness, of course).  Talk about perfect harmony!  DJ U.N.I.T.Y. had us singing, clapping, and jump jump jumping.  And more jumping.  And then a little more jumping  She brought out the cheerleading bollywood salsa queen in all of us (and  I didn’t even know I had one of those!  But I do, and she can still do a decent russian toe-touch):

Um, not that decent.

Anyway, I couldn’t help busting it out–we had reason to celebrate!  Not only was it DJ U.N.I.T.Y.’s inaugural mix, it was her BIRTHDAY!!!  It was our pleasure to mark the momentous occasion with you woman!  But the gift was definitely from you to us–no receipt needed, we wouldn’t return this for the world:

{note: song #2 was “It Takes Two” by Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock, and song #11 was “Jump” by Kriss Kross}

The Ministry of Dance

Ain’t gonna mess around. DJ Slap!Chop! is exactly as her DJ name sounds. By the time you’ve blinked she’s whipped you over her knee and popped you one right in the tenders – with a song. We had a mighty crew on deck for the evening. Gyrators, sprinters, belly dancers and plain old flailers shook every muscle and tendon into a kind of ecstasy only a true believer can comprehend. What kind of believer? Why one who adheres to the MINISTRY… and not the kind where you have to put your panty hose on and curl your hair just-so to experience. THIS KIND:

DJ Slap!Chop! inspired holes in our hands from slapping the ground so very convincingly and holes in our feet from burning up the damn floor with our hot steppin. Luckily all of our bodies are self-healing organisms and by the time we’d hopped the bus home we were whole again. Sometimes DDPP make me think that holy water is just another name for sweat from dancin.

Hot child in the city! Check out this goshforsaken playlist. It’s positively out of this world:

Sticky Goodness

WARNING: This information in this blog is based on speculation, as this Sunday we had the rare occurrence of two absent den mothers!  And just where the hell were we, you ask?  I give you exhibit 1:

See that yellow helmet?  That’s not actually me, but it might as well be.  And now, see exhibit 2:

DJ Cumberbun is the 642nd person on the left.

Thankfully, DJs Sex Frosting and Lady K Stud came to the rescue!  And according to them, Sunday’s crap weather and overflow of BBQ sauce didn’t keep a fantabulous crowd of ladies from getting their groove on to the tunes of DJ Kling-On!  Ladies, I hate having missed this one.  Give me a choice between drowning at the bottom of the Ocoee River and Peter Gabriel and I’ll go with Sledgehammer every time.  The imagined memories will stick to me like dryer-sheetless laundry:

Hate to have missed it DJ Kling-On Know that as I hacked river water out of my lungs, and shook fish out of my ears, I was dancing with you in spirit.  And I feel confident that the bodacious beats and good vibes you cooked up on Sunday will cling all week to the lucky ladies who experienced them:

We Got Delirious

Three first-time events occurred this evening at DDPP. I’ll get the bummer (for me) out of the way to begin.

1) First time I had carpal tunnel syndrome and could not clap or flail like I usually do

2) First time a live birth of multiples was re-enacted during a cool down song

3) First time we had a playlist comprised of one sole “Artist”

So really consider #3 for a moment. What bands or artists on earth could sustain an entire hour of dancing – plus the depth to have some sweet juicy slow songs appropriate for warming up and cooling down? Madonna? Sure. Michael Jackson? Definitely. Abba? Might be painful after a while, but okay. But there’s someone else, dear friends. Someone else who is far cooler and hotter (but not luke warm) than all those folks – and that could only be one person.

That’s right – that’s Prince. And so is this:

And so is this guy:

He may be one man, but he’s had many lives. And all of them sexier than the next.

Veteran DJ Michelle Leslie Brown did right by Prince’s recent birthday (June 7th – and he’s 52 YEARS OLD!!!) and made a mix fit for a king, which maybe Prince will become when his father dies (who has to be in his 80s by now…). But until then, we’ll remain his staunch supporters in his fiefdom of fabulous.

Happy Birthday, dear Prince.

Is That a Rabbit You’re Holding…

or are you just happy to dance with me?

Yesterday we experienced the magic of DJ Shadow Puppet, and there was none of this lame-ass bunny rabbit stuff.  She used life and limb to twist us up a trick pony, a foxy lady, even a plastic beach!  She got us dancing with some new hits and some old favorites, and pacing so perfect we could push it as much as we wanted to.  It was like a one hour holiday!  Goodbye rainy Chicago, hello Texas honky tonk, ancient Egypt, and Afrika.  I hit it so hard I don’t even think my shadow could keep up!

Thank you DJ Shadow Puppet!  You lifted our spirits (and our energy!) on a dreary, draggy Sunday.  Call us anytime!

And a REMINDER to you all: next week is Ribfest in North Center!  Good news for carnivores, not so great news for people who drive to DDPP.  Make sure to leave early to look for parking!  (And then pick up a fried snickers for the drive home.)

Oh Dear!

Warning: this post is going to be unapologetically girly: (no that’s not an apology)

For those who weren’t able to make it to the studio Wednesday night, I’ll fill you in on a lil secret. DJ Oh Dear’s playlist was so good, it made us fart flowers and rainbows.

And from our fertile farts, two wee mushrooms a sprouted and they happily danced along to the second half of this bonkers-rad playlist. Which playlist? THIS ONE!

Noreallyfolks… contained within this mix featured TLC and Led Zeppelin making sweet, sweet love. That’s thanks to Chicago laptop duo named The Hood Internet (see song number 3)

Fun fact: I made out in the back of my Ford Bronco to Led Zeppelin and TLC on separate occasions, and this combo song of the two groups really confounded separate memories to become a new orgy memory that never took place. So how do you top that? I guess with 15 MORE tunes that had a group of veterans and virgins alike shaking their tutus and clapping madly for more. And beyond that feat of DJ prowess, DJ Oh Dear also defied the odds of the microorganisms that were attempting to use her body as a breeding ground and came to the studio with her mix in hand and shoes tied tight and with lots and lots of friends. Thanks for sharing your most excellent taste in music with us DJ Oh Dear! And your most excellent taste in lady friends. Until we meet again, no scrubs!

A Five-Star, Gourmet Feast of Crumbz

This Sunday we gorged ourselves on the delectable mix morsels of DJ Crumbz, and believe me, at the end of the afternoon, there wasn’t a crumb left:

And also believe that all of us ladies would have loved to be standing in front of that open fridge, because it was another scorcher!  But of course, the heat was no match for DJ Crumbz.  We knew we were in trouble (in the best kind of way) when she gave us the heads up before class that it was “kind of a 90s mix.”  It was also kind of a dream come true!

Song after song inspired hoots of recognition, and I karaoked my way through the ENTIRE MIX.  Some other highlights included Katrina and the Waves induced mass hysteria, and the greatest involuntary choreography ever seen, when No Diggity caused the entire room to drop it down about three inches simultaneously!

Way to go DJ Crumbz!  Bring your girls and your tunes again soon!

School teacher aka DJ Tanner got caught up in her other class assignments…

Yep, DJ Tanner is busy crackin’ the whip at high school these days and forgot to post her “10th class period” of the days classroom assignment, which simply was reflect on all that bad ass dancing you ladies did in class last Wednesday night. That’s right…not only was class bumpin’ tonight but we had a “school/teacher” focused theme to get people pumped for the end of the school year (not that any of you see this time of year as any different since your school days are long behind you now). However, its good to know that school is still ebbing and flowing as it did back in the day for you whether you loved it or hated it. Without further ado, here was the bad ass mix that brought people back. Here’s to smoking in the ladies room, fighting for your right to party, being a school girl in love with a school boy, listening to rock n’ roll high at school, wanting to kick some other girls ass on the track (in a race that is), being the head of your class, possibly kissing your teacher (hmmmm), getting in trouble with someone by the name of Julio down by the school yard, or just being a kid in America. This ones for you.