the land of 1,000 dances

One day long, long ago and metaphorically speaking… there were these two nekkid people, a dude named Adam and a lady named summer’s Eve. They frolicked and played and braided each other’s under-hairs and generally had no semblance of the emotion of shame. Were they shameless? No. Not even knowing shame is quite different than just repressing or denying it.

It is a truth we don’t talk about often, but right now seems like a good time to let this information out of the closet… Adam and Eve were the first Dance Dance Party Partiers. Carefreely, they moved their bodies hither and thither, feeling joy, feeling freedom, they didn’t focus on who had what body part or how big or small each was – they just grooved…in a magical land… a land of 1,000 dances, and kittens and bunnies and lego tulips.

And they did all this with neither booze nor judgment! (we’ll let the “no boys” rule of DDPP slide here because all the baggage with post-apple-eating knowledge doesn’t apply… yet). It was bliss. Until one dusky evening when Adam and summer’s Eve were teaching the electric boogaloo to a neighborhood muskrat, a certain DJ came by. A DJ by the name of Ssssnake.

This here Ssssnake had on her a bright and special apple (an iPod, to be exact), and within this apple was contained a universe of sonic knowledge. See Adam and Eve had never heard actual music, no sounds organized beyond the yowling yips of the gibbons, or the cackles of the cockatoos. But once this DJ Ssssnake tempted them with smokin beats that could not and WOULD not quit and the promise of an hour-long euphoria they could repeat whenever they wished, Adam and Eve’s world changed in an instant, and forever.

In a flash, they were expelled from the ignorance of plain not knowing what it felt like to truly dance or how hot their tushies looked when they backed that ass up. And then this here monkey put on a robe and became king of the land of 1,000 dances while pitying how white Adam and Eve suddenly realized their dance moves were.

Dear reader, if you’ve stayed with me for this long, then you might care to know that this timeless story of ignorance and knowledge, of apple products and sophistication, and monkeys looking down on human rhythm, pretty much was all repeated moment for moment last Wednesday when DJ Ssssnake illuminated the room with her sinfully awesome mix. Bravo DJ! We thank you for removing the veil of ignorance that kept us from a mix like yours for so long. If knowledge like this is wrong, we don’t want to be right.

(I’ll let ya’ll connect the dots here, but within an hour after DJ Ssssnake’s mix here, we got an email from Next Generation Condoms to see if DDPP wanted to host a glow in the dark condom party. They must have known that suddenly all us gals were on guard for all things slithering, all things snake-like, and all things that like hiding in the bushes.)


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