Dance Commander Says: “Safety First” For Maximum Danceability Specifications and Standards

MC Escher here, your DJ from Wednesday, August 6th. I wanted assure everybody that all songs selected for my dance mixes undergo an EXTREMELY RIGOROUS screening process. My most recent mix has been stamped as being Dance Dance Party Party Compliant Compliant.

You will all be relived to know that each track has successfully passed a variety of tests in my dance lab, where I wear a white lab coat and do things with bunsen burners. Also, I wear safety goggles. Safety first! In my special dance lab, I take my job as a federally certified Dance Commander VERY SERIOUSLY. Every necessary precaution is taken to ensure that no single dancer is injured from the fallout of a song that has not been branded with a mark of danceability compliance. Please enjoy virtual tour of our dance lab, where our federal Dance Commander employees are hard at work:

All songs go through the Official Dance Song Screening & Compliance Process™ . The first hurdle of this test is to see if a song possesses a rhythm of recurring measured regularity. Once the song has been designated as having a time signature that suggests dancing, it has completed the first test. The second test is performed by a dance technician, who monitors a control group and and a variable group. In this innovative clinical trial, if all subjects independently make the journey to the dance floor, the song has passed this second part of the test. The third and final test measures the part of the brain that processes pleasure. If the subject announces they would like the hear the song again to continue their kinesthetic expression, the song has passed the entire test and is officially endorsed by the lab. The song is then made available for the insertion into the dance mix.

As reference material, the technicians from the lab have provided the playlist.

playlist 080614

Hard at work in the lab.

Thank you for attending this lecture.

Click here to follow the link that will take you to a site where you can download last Wednesday’s whole mix as one track with no pauses, for listening and/or workout use.

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